Reflection of last night at Camp Barnabas

As despair met fate, life faced death. Seeping deep into the abyss of faith, salvation came through the night, lit the darkness and eternal life was a bloom. Sitting along the narrow road watching the cross come towards me created within me a feeling of unrest. As soon as I got sight of the cross my eyes were filled with tears. Tonight, death faced me squarely in the eye and whispered to me “I am after you.” Through my tear-drenched sleeve I looked up to the skies and I heard HIS voice say, “I am with you, and I will never forsake you.” Tonight I smiled, as my God is with me. As the cross came near my heart was pumping like a roaring lion awaiting to be released. The souls under my feet were burning with anticipation. I was scared, curious, and happy all at the same time. I stood there on the path as it went from one group to another, listening to the songs being sung in the background, wondering what is this love He continues to show me. I am trying to grasp it, understand it and use it. I turned to my left, then to me right, and saw I was not the only one crying a lake into existence. I gazed upon my camper Austin, and I saw still small tears start to roll down his cheek. I’m not sure if it was the reality of his fragile life being held at the edge of the cliff by fingernails, or if it was the sadness of the moment. The names of many who had come and passed were within the corner of my eye. I stood in silence, crying more on the inside then I was on the outside praying to God that my friend, my buddy, my pal Austin would not have to have his name ever be put on this Cross. I wished so badly I could give him my heart as a sacrifice for him giving me new life, new love and a renewed spirit. Austin, I am speaking directly to you right now; you saved me this week when I was down in the trenches of life, wanting nothing more then to hide from the world. You became my friend, didn’t care what I looked like, smelled like, or even acted like. You accepted me and taught me that nothing else in this life matters but the love of a Savior. You showed me Christ’s love without speaking of it. I saw Christ through you because He was the beat of your heart. Each night when I sat at the edge of your bed, placed my hand on your shoulder and asked you how I can pray for you, I felt His beat. It was strong, powerful and mighty to save. From the depths of my heart, I truly, till the ends of life in itself, will ever be grateful to you. Each time I gazed into Austin’s eyes I saw a child wanting to live, enjoy life and just talk to girls! Boy did this boy want a girlfriend so badly! He cracked me up so much! Oh bud, did we ever have some good memories this week! The cross was only a couple groups away and the songs of the Angels were getting louder. Each group took the cross, stood it in the center of their circle and prayed with it. Each of the names on that cross heard those cries, prayers and song and jumped for joy. I can only imagine them sitting in heaven all healed and dancing with Jesus for their world is no more, but His is evermore. They waited for the Doctor and He came down and took them when He knew was the right time. These were children in our eyes, but in His they were part of His kingdom. They were His frontline, strong soldiers fighting for eternal life. Everything they fought for, they received. For through all things, He is there. For every tear that I cried tonight, He caught. He would never allow it to hit the ground, for my tears to Him are so precious. Neither the filth of this world, nor the norms of society could take away any of my tears. For every tear we all cried, He became more and more evident. His presence was near, and I felt it with everything that I am. I looked up to the night sky, gazed upon those beautiful stars and wondered of how an amazing God we truly have. Where else can we find joy through reminiscing the lost? It can only be through Him that in our darkest days He shines a light upon our frowning faces. Somewhere, deep within the stars His hand came down and laid rest on all our hearts. For those who were weak, He gave them strength. To those who could not breathe He gave them breath. For every broken heart, there was restoration through him. My God, my Doctor healed my heart. Before coming to camp, my heart was so broken. It stung of a thousand needles of persecution, deception, lies and wavy faith. Upon this night, God single-handed removed each needle, which tore into my heart. With precision He removed each hurt, and filled it with grace. Through grace I found Austin. Through Austin I found a love like no other. It was now our turn for the Cross. Brandon and Austin went to grab the Cross and bring it back to our group. I looked at these two guys bring the cross back and realized Christ was showing me in that still moment that He was taking their pain away from them and replacing it with renewed life. The Cross was placed at our feet and we prayed for it. Matt prayed first and then it was Brandon, then myself. Hearing these guys voices pray was like hearing all of Heaven’s angels united singing harmonically for their Father who art in Heaven. Their prayers were not perfectly crafted or deep in meaning, but were simple and plain. They prayed just a few words and passed it to the next person. But each word had meaning and purpose. Each second they prayed was a moment closer to God. They prayed for the souls who were laid to rest, and hoped that each name was partying in Heaven with Jesus. We sung songs of partying with Jesus, for on that day, when we stand at Eternities thrown, we will not be imperfect in the eyes of others, but will be glimmering of silver and gold. Our rags will be thrown down and our robe will be placed upon us by His majestic and holy hand. He will walk us up the steps into a life like no other. He will show us around and tell us that He created everything we see for us, for He knew that on that day when we are called by Him, we would be ready to see. As I cried out in my prayer and begged for Him to protect us, heal us and guide us, He took our blinders off and allowed us to see Heaven in a glimpse of hope. The walls were torn down and His arms were open wide. He said, “Child, I will always love you and I want you to always love Me.” My God, my God, I Love You!!! You have saved me, healed me, protected me and created a life for me after this life. But please God, do not let me go to Heaven without every single child at his camp. For every Austin, there was a Brandon, and for every Brandon there was a Logan. The names were endless, but I pray God please spare us Your unending grace to have mercy on our inabilities to love sometimes. It’s not that we don’t know how to love, but sometimes we are selfish and do not love. Send down Your thunder and Your rain and allow us to be washed clean of all our inequities and selfishness. Make us like children yearning for our Mother’s love and our Father’s protection. As our prayers ended, Logan and Sam carried the Cross to the next group and they then in turn prayed over it. I never realized that someone can cry for so long, and as time was moving along, I would cry even more. Surrounded by friends and my campers, I was never an arms reach of someone embracing me with a solid hug. I sought out every camper in my cabin and made sure they were okay and told them how amazing they were. I came across a camper named Josh, who was Jillian’s camper and I hugged him and looked into his beautiful eyes and told him that I loved him. For I know that the reality of his life being so fragile and God moving closer and closer to him was tearing up my heart inside out. Josh has gone through so much, but it has never stopped him from just loving life for every day he is given. In my sorrows I found joy. Sanctified by His promise of never forsaking me, I saw my faith not leave me, but build deeper roots within my heart. God took me off the beach and placed my life upon solid rock. The night ended with an opportunity for campers to share what they learned this week or whom they wanted to thank. I saw many of my friends up there with their campers proclaiming how amazing this camp was and how well the CIA did. I was so proud of every single person on our trip. Every student and leader alike did a steadfast and amazing job. The fruit of their labor will not be distant. For every time they place their hands upon their hearts they can feel the beat of that camper and the joy they brought to them. Every time I lay down I will remember Austin, for his love gave my heart a new beat. My life is drumming to the sound of happiness and glory now and forevermore. After the speaking opportunity we had a firework display, which was glorious! A celebration to celebrate the joy of a life forever with Him! But the best part was yet to come! That night in our cabin, I noticed Brandon get ready and get into bed while everyone else was still playing around in the cabin. God drew me to his bedside and I got talking to him and started asking him questions about what he thought about tonight and if he had any questions. After some talking I asked him if he knew that if something happened to him that he’d go to heaven, and he wasn’t sure. He said he hoped he would and that if he did something wrong that he may not go to heaven. This struck me like a match lighting a canister of gas! God presented me with an opportunity to share His true and amazing gospel with Brandon. I asked Brandon if I could guarantee him that he could go to Heaven and that if he did something bad that he’d be forgiven and that God would always love him, if he’d be interested in something like that. He looked up at me with his beautiful blue eyes and spoke to me in his high pitched southern accent and said, “yeah I’d like that sir.” Hallelujah!! I said, “awesome! Let’s make the deal and get you your spot in Heaven.” So he prayed with me and he asked Christ into his heart as his personal and loving Savior! As he opened his eyes he looked at me and just smiled. His smile said it all. I sat at the bedside of my new brother in Christ! On the last night of camp, I overcame all hurt, pain and despair and God replaced it with promise, love and a new brother! I sit here with tears falling down my face as I write this and looking back on this past week and what it did to me, I have no problem with that. I will continue to cry because Jesus is my waterfall, my river of life and my safe passage. In Christ, all things are possible. Through his love and grace, salvation is near. Grasp it, never let it go. Do not be divided or torn from the reality of fate. He knows what he is doing. Let go of your selfish desires, for He generously wants you. Stir up a fire in us my Lord and move our feet to the beat of a burning nation. Let us shout for joy for you are my God, my Everything, Yahweh! … Amen

Job Position

Job Title: Christian

Employer: The Kingdom of Jesus Christ

Hours: A lifetime of praise

Prior Experience: None

Prior Education: None

Background Check: None. Your past history has been washed by his blood

Function: Seek first the Kingdom of God before any other. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. Ask Him for forgiveness for your sins and ask him to take complete control of your life. Believe with all that you are that God sent his son for you, to die, so that you can have everlasting life in the most beautiful Kingdom ever created.

This job position does promise a promotion.

Jesus Christ promotes directly from your hire date. No other job promotes you from your first date of hire. On your first day your name will be written in the book of life. When your afterlife plan kicks into effect, you will be allowed to enter Heaven’s doors and live in paradise.**

** Before being able to enter Heaven’s doors, Jesus Christ will do his final review of you. You will account for everything you have done. See before you were born, Christ paid for what you were going to do. He knew you would mess up. But that is ok, because he is a God of love and forgiveness. On this day, you will be accountable for all that you did and he will judge you. Remember though, he judges you because of one reason: He loves you with all his heart!

About the Company: Jesus Christ was here, is here and will always be here. He started everything with his voice. When he spoke, all was created. For thousands of years Jesus Christ has provided, loved and taken care of his company. He does not ask much in you. His request is simple, love him with all your heart and believe that he is the One and Almighty God. You will be joined with a wide network of people of will be working with you. These people come from all different backgrounds. There are murderers, criminals, abusers, liars, deceivers, cheaters, simple people, good people, honest people, hard working people. You ask how he can take all these people and have them working together? Its simple, he loves each and every one of you. On the day you are hired, you will be set free from all that you have done and will be given a new life. One day you will account for everything. But Jesus Christ wants you for your heart, your dedication and your promise to live a life for him. He asks nothing else from you. A small sacrifice for a greater treasure.

There is no interview for this job. Ask and it shall be given to you. Below there is a line with an “X”. If you sign this you will acknowledge that Christ is and was and always is your savior, redeemer and healer. From this day forth you will be working for the most powerful, most loving and most forgiving God.

Your job title will now be “Christian”. Proclaim it, sing it and tell everyone how amazing it is to be alive and free. Today you have been set free from everything. The chains are broken and you are Alive!





X._________________________________ Date: _____ASAP________

Sometimes...

Life is made up of Sometimes. Through everything we endure in life, we always go through the Sometimes which are an undeniable force to which we live by. Sometimes we feel like we cannot continue in life. Sometimes an event happens and we are overjoyed with happiness. Sometimes parents have children while others continue to wait upon the day they too can share the experience and love. Sometimes we cross paths with someone we haven't seen in a long time. Sometimes we lose touch of those we always thought we'd be friends with. Sometimes we fall in love. Sometimes we are heartbroken. Sometimes we just want to cry while Sometimes we laugh so hard that the milk we just drank spits out our noses. Sometimes life isn't fair even when you always did good in your life. Sometimes when we least expect it, something good happens. Sometimes we experience a random act of kindness. Sometimes we say something to someone and regret it. Sometimes we compliment someone and it can lift them up. Sometimes we just don't want to wake up in the morning. Sometimes we cannot sleep at night because we cannot wait for the next day to come. Sometimes we experience a great time and the next thing we go through is a hurtful thing. Sometimes we lose our appetites and cannot eat for days. Sometimes we eat too much when we knew we should have stopped earlier. Sometimes we sit beside a stranger. Sometimes a stranger will change you by their lifestyle. Sometimes we search for something more in life. Sometimes what we need in life is right there in front of you. Sometimes we are blinded by the sin of this world. Sometimes the sin of this world gets the best of us. Sometimes we are so strong in faith we can overcome sin. Sometimes we just want to run away and start over. Sometimes we move so much we just want to settle down. Sometimes we grow up and wish we were young again. Sometimes we are young and wish we were older. Sometimes an older person can share wisdom to others. Sometimes an older person needs wisdom. Sometimes we wonder what we are doing. Sometimes we know too much. Sometimes we have friends to turn to. Sometimes we feel like we are in the dark with no one to turn too. Sometimes we sing. Sometimes we are quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Sometimes we worship. Sometimes we curse. Sometimes we apologize and ask for forgiveness. Sometimes we are too ashamed to talk to the person we hurt or lied to. Sometimes we have courage while Sometimes we cannot overcome fear. Sometimes we doubt ourselves. Sometimes we go through school and learn things to help our future. Sometimes we get married while Sometimes we lose the person we love. Sometimes life moves on. Sometimes we live in the past.

Sometimes I sit here and wonder what is next. Sometimes I think to myself if I give everything, what is left of me? Sometimes I am hurt while sometimes that hurt makes me stronger.

One thing I know is that in life we go through Sometimes. Everything I search for is a Sometimes yet Always my Father, My Savior, My friend and Redeemer loves me. That is a Promise and He doesn't ever break promises!

Dear God...

I've written this letter to you a million times yet I still can't figure out the right words to say. So I'm just going to let my heart speak. I can't sleep, I have totally lost my appetite and sometimes I don't feel well. But this letter is something I need to do. So here is my heart. First I want to tell you that I love you and thank you for always listening to me. Everytime I've needed you, you've been there. It seems like everytime my heart aches you whisper into my ear to write this letter to you. When I'm happy and overjoyed you want me to speak to you. When life itself comes to a stand still, you want me to call you. Why is it that everytime I need you, I do everything possible to not write this letter? I know you are there for me and I know you love me. Am I a bad person, am I not worthy to be called your son? Or is it that I go through challenges and tribulations to test me to see if I will come running to you. I'm sitting here wondering why I never wrote this letter to you yesterday, or the week before, or even last year when I needed you. Lord please forgive me for I have not told you how I feel. I promise I will try to talk to you more and tell you how I feel. Dad, how is it that you love me so much that you gave the only son you ever had for my sake? I am a liar and a sinner. I am lost and confused. I am everything that doesn't deserve to see your glory. I am here on my knees all alone looking up at the skies and seeing nothing but darkness. I feel brokenhearted, I feel happy, I feel every feeling that this world has to offer. Yet after everything is said and done, I still wonder why? How? I'm listening to a song called Amazing Because It is and I'm in tears. I think I understand. I think I can finally see why. Your love is not like mine. I can love a person to the point where if I had to decide to give up myself for their being, i'd think about it. That is my love. Mine comes and goes. But yours is different isn't it? I get it! Your love is a never ending, non doubting endless type of love. When I am down in the dumps you are there. When a friend of mine is hurt and I can't be there for them, you are always available. When a father is not around, you are there. You are my father. You are my friend. You are everything to me. I once was lost but now I'm found. You've opened my eyes to things unseen. I am no longer blind to the things of this world. You're amazing! Hey father can I tell you something? I don't know how to exactly say this but here it is. Sometimes I feel like my faith is overshadowed by doubt. Do you think i'm a bad person for feeling that way? I know that by faith I am to believe in things unseen. Sometimes Dad I feel like your disciple Thomas. Sometimes I want to see in order to believe. I don't want to believe like that. I want to believe through a faith so strong nothing can come between us. That is what i'm going to do. I will believe without seeing. I will give everything without expecting anything in return. I know you got my back in everything. I've decided that I will not be like Thomas because I don't need to see the evidence. I will let myself be the evidence. I will let you live through me. That is how I will be a faith believing person. I want to bring others to see your glory.

Well God it's getting late over here and I should probably be sleeping. I need to wake up in a few hours but I don't want to leave you. I feel like I can now talk to you as a friend. Thanks for listening and not interrupting me. Sometimes you need someone to just listen to you. I know this letter took me long enough but I'm glad I did it.

Thank you and I love you!

Sincerely,
Mankind

Footprints

Branded by a love like no other and surrounded by a force so great, You give us peace. Created from the dust in the ground, you made us whole and complete. Complete not only in life form, but in likeness of you. Some have chosen to reject You as their creator, their almighty, sovereign one. How could this be? You are God, Jehovah, and Redeemer. You gave me life even though I was a sinner. I did not deserve this life. I did not deserve to be given the chance to live freely, unchained with complete ability to make decisions. If today, on this cold night, I decided to be upset with You, even hate You, You would still love me. A love so deep it goes beyond the ends of the earth. This love is what I desire to have more than anything. You created me in the image of Your son, breathed life into me and promised me a life forevermore. Earth is but a moment compared to eternity in your pure and majestic kingdom. You left your kingdom to come be with us, to teach us, deliver us from our transgressions. You came to save me from the depths of darkness and death. You are the light of my life, and lead me to a path of pure joy. Lord I have sinned against You, spoken wrong things, looked at impure images, and ran from You when I was scared to talk to you. Yet you gave Your one and only Son for me to clean me of these downfalls. I do not deserve this love, this gift. I am unworthy of all it is You have to offer me. All you ask of me is my life, my heart and my love. Father I offer up everything that I am for You. My life, dedicated for one cause, your glory. My heart beats with the drums of a thousand armies all for your name to be lifted up. My love is all Yours, given up completely for You. I believe, I believe, I believe. You gave me hope, you gave me a choice. I choose You because You asked of me all that I can give. I dedicate my life to You—yesterday, today and forevermore. I want to be the son of a king, the servant of your majestic and beautiful throne, at your feet singing the songs of David, with the angels in all of heaven. Glory to God in the Highest! Water’s cannot quench this love you have for me. I will swim the deepest oceans and climb the highest mountains for Your glory to be heard across the earth. I will sing songs of praise for all to hear. Come be the fire inside of me. Ignite the deepest part of my soul to cry out for you. Stir up a hunger for a nation of young people to be leaders, not followers. Let us, as a collective of believers, brothers and sisters in arms, go forth to be the light in a world full of darkness—a lit flame, so bright it cannot not be extinguished. You are our Father, our Savior. We seek you in this time to be our leader. From the first breath of life till the day we die, we will live for You. Through prayer, faith and communion our everyday steps will leave a footprint of your love. A footprint for others to see, a footprint for others to follow. They will know of Your great and amazing love. A footprint is what we will set. This is our day, for You, forevermore. Amen