As despair met fate, life faced death. Seeping deep into the abyss of faith, salvation came through the night, lit the darkness and eternal life was a bloom. Sitting along the narrow road watching the cross come towards me created within me a feeling of unrest. As soon as I got sight of the cross my eyes were filled with tears. Tonight, death faced me squarely in the eye and whispered to me “I am after you.” Through my tear-drenched sleeve I looked up to the skies and I heard HIS voice say, “I am with you, and I will never forsake you.” Tonight I smiled, as my God is with me. As the cross came near my heart was pumping like a roaring lion awaiting to be released. The souls under my feet were burning with anticipation. I was scared, curious, and happy all at the same time. I stood there on the path as it went from one group to another, listening to the songs being sung in the background, wondering what is this love He continues to show me. I am trying to grasp it, understand it and use it. I turned to my left, then to me right, and saw I was not the only one crying a lake into existence. I gazed upon my camper Austin, and I saw still small tears start to roll down his cheek. I’m not sure if it was the reality of his fragile life being held at the edge of the cliff by fingernails, or if it was the sadness of the moment. The names of many who had come and passed were within the corner of my eye. I stood in silence, crying more on the inside then I was on the outside praying to God that my friend, my buddy, my pal Austin would not have to have his name ever be put on this Cross. I wished so badly I could give him my heart as a sacrifice for him giving me new life, new love and a renewed spirit. Austin, I am speaking directly to you right now; you saved me this week when I was down in the trenches of life, wanting nothing more then to hide from the world. You became my friend, didn’t care what I looked like, smelled like, or even acted like. You accepted me and taught me that nothing else in this life matters but the love of a Savior. You showed me Christ’s love without speaking of it. I saw Christ through you because He was the beat of your heart. Each night when I sat at the edge of your bed, placed my hand on your shoulder and asked you how I can pray for you, I felt His beat. It was strong, powerful and mighty to save. From the depths of my heart, I truly, till the ends of life in itself, will ever be grateful to you. Each time I gazed into Austin’s eyes I saw a child wanting to live, enjoy life and just talk to girls! Boy did this boy want a girlfriend so badly! He cracked me up so much! Oh bud, did we ever have some good memories this week! The cross was only a couple groups away and the songs of the Angels were getting louder. Each group took the cross, stood it in the center of their circle and prayed with it. Each of the names on that cross heard those cries, prayers and song and jumped for joy. I can only imagine them sitting in heaven all healed and dancing with Jesus for their world is no more, but His is evermore. They waited for the Doctor and He came down and took them when He knew was the right time. These were children in our eyes, but in His they were part of His kingdom. They were His frontline, strong soldiers fighting for eternal life. Everything they fought for, they received. For through all things, He is there. For every tear that I cried tonight, He caught. He would never allow it to hit the ground, for my tears to Him are so precious. Neither the filth of this world, nor the norms of society could take away any of my tears. For every tear we all cried, He became more and more evident. His presence was near, and I felt it with everything that I am. I looked up to the night sky, gazed upon those beautiful stars and wondered of how an amazing God we truly have. Where else can we find joy through reminiscing the lost? It can only be through Him that in our darkest days He shines a light upon our frowning faces. Somewhere, deep within the stars His hand came down and laid rest on all our hearts. For those who were weak, He gave them strength. To those who could not breathe He gave them breath. For every broken heart, there was restoration through him. My God, my Doctor healed my heart. Before coming to camp, my heart was so broken. It stung of a thousand needles of persecution, deception, lies and wavy faith. Upon this night, God single-handed removed each needle, which tore into my heart. With precision He removed each hurt, and filled it with grace. Through grace I found Austin. Through Austin I found a love like no other. It was now our turn for the Cross. Brandon and Austin went to grab the Cross and bring it back to our group. I looked at these two guys bring the cross back and realized Christ was showing me in that still moment that He was taking their pain away from them and replacing it with renewed life. The Cross was placed at our feet and we prayed for it. Matt prayed first and then it was Brandon, then myself. Hearing these guys voices pray was like hearing all of Heaven’s angels united singing harmonically for their Father who art in Heaven. Their prayers were not perfectly crafted or deep in meaning, but were simple and plain. They prayed just a few words and passed it to the next person. But each word had meaning and purpose. Each second they prayed was a moment closer to God. They prayed for the souls who were laid to rest, and hoped that each name was partying in Heaven with Jesus. We sung songs of partying with Jesus, for on that day, when we stand at Eternities thrown, we will not be imperfect in the eyes of others, but will be glimmering of silver and gold. Our rags will be thrown down and our robe will be placed upon us by His majestic and holy hand. He will walk us up the steps into a life like no other. He will show us around and tell us that He created everything we see for us, for He knew that on that day when we are called by Him, we would be ready to see. As I cried out in my prayer and begged for Him to protect us, heal us and guide us, He took our blinders off and allowed us to see Heaven in a glimpse of hope. The walls were torn down and His arms were open wide. He said, “Child, I will always love you and I want you to always love Me.” My God, my God, I Love You!!! You have saved me, healed me, protected me and created a life for me after this life. But please God, do not let me go to Heaven without every single child at his camp. For every Austin, there was a Brandon, and for every Brandon there was a Logan. The names were endless, but I pray God please spare us Your unending grace to have mercy on our inabilities to love sometimes. It’s not that we don’t know how to love, but sometimes we are selfish and do not love. Send down Your thunder and Your rain and allow us to be washed clean of all our inequities and selfishness. Make us like children yearning for our Mother’s love and our Father’s protection. As our prayers ended, Logan and Sam carried the Cross to the next group and they then in turn prayed over it. I never realized that someone can cry for so long, and as time was moving along, I would cry even more. Surrounded by friends and my campers, I was never an arms reach of someone embracing me with a solid hug. I sought out every camper in my cabin and made sure they were okay and told them how amazing they were. I came across a camper named Josh, who was Jillian’s camper and I hugged him and looked into his beautiful eyes and told him that I loved him. For I know that the reality of his life being so fragile and God moving closer and closer to him was tearing up my heart inside out. Josh has gone through so much, but it has never stopped him from just loving life for every day he is given. In my sorrows I found joy. Sanctified by His promise of never forsaking me, I saw my faith not leave me, but build deeper roots within my heart. God took me off the beach and placed my life upon solid rock. The night ended with an opportunity for campers to share what they learned this week or whom they wanted to thank. I saw many of my friends up there with their campers proclaiming how amazing this camp was and how well the CIA did. I was so proud of every single person on our trip. Every student and leader alike did a steadfast and amazing job. The fruit of their labor will not be distant. For every time they place their hands upon their hearts they can feel the beat of that camper and the joy they brought to them. Every time I lay down I will remember Austin, for his love gave my heart a new beat. My life is drumming to the sound of happiness and glory now and forevermore. After the speaking opportunity we had a firework display, which was glorious! A celebration to celebrate the joy of a life forever with Him! But the best part was yet to come! That night in our cabin, I noticed Brandon get ready and get into bed while everyone else was still playing around in the cabin. God drew me to his bedside and I got talking to him and started asking him questions about what he thought about tonight and if he had any questions. After some talking I asked him if he knew that if something happened to him that he’d go to heaven, and he wasn’t sure. He said he hoped he would and that if he did something wrong that he may not go to heaven. This struck me like a match lighting a canister of gas! God presented me with an opportunity to share His true and amazing gospel with Brandon. I asked Brandon if I could guarantee him that he could go to Heaven and that if he did something bad that he’d be forgiven and that God would always love him, if he’d be interested in something like that. He looked up at me with his beautiful blue eyes and spoke to me in his high pitched southern accent and said, “yeah I’d like that sir.” Hallelujah!! I said, “awesome! Let’s make the deal and get you your spot in Heaven.” So he prayed with me and he asked Christ into his heart as his personal and loving Savior! As he opened his eyes he looked at me and just smiled. His smile said it all. I sat at the bedside of my new brother in Christ! On the last night of camp, I overcame all hurt, pain and despair and God replaced it with promise, love and a new brother! I sit here with tears falling down my face as I write this and looking back on this past week and what it did to me, I have no problem with that. I will continue to cry because Jesus is my waterfall, my river of life and my safe passage. In Christ, all things are possible. Through his love and grace, salvation is near. Grasp it, never let it go. Do not be divided or torn from the reality of fate. He knows what he is doing. Let go of your selfish desires, for He generously wants you. Stir up a fire in us my Lord and move our feet to the beat of a burning nation. Let us shout for joy for you are my God, my Everything, Yahweh! … Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment